Posted on December 18, 2015 at 9:00 PM
Any conversation can be a coaching conversation. The tipping factor is my psychological location in the conversation. When I am engaged with the other, transcending any of my agenda and start to mirror the other person, coaching happens - both of us get coached. To be in this state requires a deep awareness about myself in that moment and that by itself requires a significant focus and inner energy. Bringing this level of awareness and internal energy in all my conversations is a journey of thousand miles for me, and I do hope to reach there one day.
I generally start my coaching conversations with few minutes of deep silence and breathe watching and bring in my conscious attention to sense the other person and be prepared to receive him/ her fully. While this has helped me significantly in the face to face processes, evenskype/ video calls, I have found inner difficulties in being able to do this on audio calls. Expressing my location after this process has helped me connect to the other person. To become a mirror, I let the other lead the conversations; and I follow, where the dialogue takes us.
Very often I use metaphors to guide our conversations. I have found metaphors to be an effective way of helping project the expressions of the unconscious. By stating my interpretations of the metaphor and asking questions to help the other interpret the metaphor, have helped unearth deeper voices. I also use my observations and experiences of the "here & now" in the conversation and stating the similarities to the points presented.
I have found it useful not to focus too much on the structure in a coaching conversation, and let the conversation meander and find its path. While I have struggled with few conversations that have meandered beyond set time boundaries, very often they converge. There are conversations where expressing my 'in the moment' struggles, have helped bring convergence and closure.
While I do believe that everyone has the resources to work out their path forward, there are times I have offered my learning from my past experiences, suggested concepts/ frameworks by referring to books & websites and have even recommended possible course of actions.